Flash: The Moment our Friendship Took a Turn

As I mentioned after reading the micro-memoir Heating and Cooling, I wanted to try my hand at a few “flash fiction/nonfiction/memoir” thingies on here. Read on for my first one (or just skip these posts if they aren’t your vibe)…


The moment our friendship took a turn:

Megan and I were in Paris at the end of a two week European adventure, and were heading back to our hotel on our final night, exhausted but giddy from our travel.

Let me interject here to say, I don’t like public transportation. It gives me anxiety.

Will it take my ticket? Where do I sit? What if I miss my stop? Which way is this damn thing going? Am I on the right train/bus/subway?

We’re cruising into the Paris Metro at about 10 o’clock at night, tickets in hand, approaching what I not-so-affectionately call the “cow catchers”. You know, those gate thingies that do nothing but increase the anxiety of someone who:

*hates public transportation and

*is a, uh, fuller-figured gal

But, I breezed right into it, sure that nothing could ruin this final Parisian moment.

Until the cow catcher caught, well, me.

I wiggled, I struggled, I started spazzing out, looking for help. Megan, of course, was saucer-eyed on the other side of the catcher, and there was not a soul in sight, but one far woman in the distance who looked to be in authority.

Trying NOT to bellow like a cow, I did a series of exceedingly louder “Excusez-moi, Madame!”‘s only to remain firmly in the grasp of my metal captor.

At this point, Megan had transitioned from sympathy and encouragement to laughing so hard I’m pretty sure she wet herself.

And that’s when I knew… our friendship had taken a turn.

Of course she’s still my best friend, of course, I still love her, and of course… whenever I’m having a bad day, I look at this picture of her in complete hysterics after I had humiliatingly “excusez-moi, Madamed” my way out of the cow catcher and onto the Metro with NO HELP FROM HER WHATSOEVER.

But I’ll never forgive her for that moment. 😉

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